Anxiety has this real ability to screw with me. I can go from a functional human being to a heart palpitating, space staring, self-loathing ball of mush in just moments. And it's painful.
Anxiety has this way of making me question what's rational and what's real. I have these two senses of reality; one grounded and one that questions everything, and I struggle to differentiate between which one is truth. Anxiety can make perception such a bitch.
Anxiety makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel vulnerable to others, and vulnerable to what I'm doing to myself. It tells me I'm weak and tries to take the autonomy that the grounded side so strongly clings to.
Anxiety is unrelenting. It doesn't care where I am, who I'm talking to, what I'm doing. It waits, it pounces. It laughs at my 'coping mechanisms' I use to try to bide my time through it.
Anxiety is cruel. One thing about depression is that it's constant. Anxiety lets me feel as though I'm on top of the world, just to cut my legs out from under me to watch how far I have to fall.
But I am not anxiety. And anxiety will not defeat me. No matter what happens, no matter how significant, I will not let anxiety control me.
Watch my grounded mind fight for the empire it has built.
